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FedEx Fuckups

posted Jan 28, 2014, 8:32 PM by Christopher Ellison   [ updated Jan 29, 2014, 6:36 PM ]
It's not often that a company can manage to impress me in quite the way FedEx has.  They've almost managed a perfect record of failing to deliver packages.  I moved into my current house something like 6 or 7 years ago; in that time frame, I can't remember them successfully delivering a single package to this address.  This despite the fact that they seem to regularly manage to deliver to the house directly across the street from mine.

Every time this happens, I end up having to call their customer service - a wonderful exercise in irritation - to redirect the package.  That is, if they bother to leave a notice somewhere in the vague vicinity of my house that they "tried" to deliver a package - often, that's not the case.  Then I get a lovely call from the ineffective, interrupting, idiotic manager of the nearby sort facility, where the conversation always goes the same way.  "Sorry, we're just a delivery company - we couldn't possibly deliver your package.  Why don't you come pick it up?"  Oh, I don't know, lady - maybe because I work for a living and am at said job from before you open until after you close?  Why don't you look at a goddamn map?

Of course, I try to avoid FedEx whenever possible.  Whenever I can, I ship - or have my purchases shipped - via any other carrier.  For other shipping situations, I try to have packages delivered to another address where FedEx has at least a slight chance to successfully deliver whatever I've purchased.  Still, sometimes I don't have those options; sometimes places require that you ship only to your billing address, for example.  When that happens, I inevitably end up in this situation.  I'm particularly irritated about it today because this has now happened twice within a month - which means yet another potential conversation with the idiot manager and another 3-day-extra wait for my "Express" delivery - if it ever actually arrives.

So, FedEx, congratulations on making the USPS look streamlined and competent.  Congratulations on failing so consistently at the only job your delivery drivers have.  I'm legitimately impressed by the level of incompetence of your drivers and sort facility managers.  Without a doubt, you have crossed my official Fuckup Threshold.

Update 2014-01-29:

When I wrote this, I was seriously fed up with FedEx.  As a result, I started posting around on their social media to complain - I had to admit that as it's kind of a dick move, but after so many of their screwups, I wanted to spread this issue as far and wide as I could.  After about 12-18 hours, they contacted me via Facebook and asked me to email their customer service.  As this particular package was for my wife, I let her handle the email.  Here's her complaint, with which I fully agree:

This is the absolute last straw. I sent a message to your customer service last night and still no response. My husband finally had Curtis contact him with this email address so here's what I have to say. He wanted the tracking #, delivery address and phone #. The FedEx driver did not provide a tracking number, so I'll provide the door#.

Address: -------------------------------
Phone # XXX-XXX-XXXX (Do not call me to apologize, my family has had enough apologies from FedEx)
Door # DT XXXX XXXX XXXX

I am writing to complain, yet again, about the FedEx facility that staffs the drivers who deliver to my home. For the fifth (yes, fifth) time in a couple of months, and the second time in less than thirty days, the FedEx driver that attempted to deliver my package today did not even attempt to enter the complex. They left a sticky note on the gate with the following information: my name, my unit number, the date, number of packages, and the words "gate closed." Nowhere does it say if he/she will attempt to deliver again, if it's being sent back, anything.

Yes, we have a security gate in our townhome complex. Yes, every single other driver (US Mail, UPS, and OTHER FEDEX DRIVERS) manage to get in just fine and dandy. How is it possible that one or more drivers can figure out how to get into my neighborhood, but one or more OTHER drivers cannot?

On December 30, while cooking dinner, I saw a FedEx truck enter and drive around our complex, delivering a package for a neighbor. So someone figured it out. Why can't everyone else?

In the past my husband has been called by an a human being at the local distribution facility. He complained. He was not listened to, and instead was given attitude by the person on the phone, who I hope to goodness is not the person you have in charge out there. I believe this is in or around Bothell, WA. Since those complaints have not changed a single thing, I am writing to you in the hopes that leaving a paper trail will do some good.

So please tell me. Why in the world would I wish to keep paying for deliveries that I know, thanks to all the recent and past screw ups on your driver's fault, will not be delivered? If it were up to me I wouldn't pay a dime for FedEx shipping. Usually I have shipments sent to my place of employment, since the driver there seems to not screw up at all. But sometimes shipments are out of my control. Sometimes businesses or organizations will only ship to the billing address. In this case, I suspect something from a Kickstarter I contributed to, has been sent. But had I not called the 1-800 computerized non-human phone number I would never have known I was missing a package. Thank goodness it was not windy today or rainy and the tag hadn't blown down the street or gotten so wet it was illegible. 

Seriously. Just get your drivers to figure it out. No other business could provide such horrific consistently abysmal "customer service" and not go out of business. You are not the only game in town. But you do seem to be the only game who can't figure this out. It's not rocket science. Talk to your drivers. Talk to the manager out at the Bothell facility, or whoever answers the phone. Get them to get their act together. We buy a lot of stuff online and have hundreds of packages shipped each year. Can you do the math and calculate how much business you're losing to your drivers' neglect?

In case you are interested in looking up this specific shipment, no tracking number was provided, just a door tag number: DT XXXX XXXX XXXX I called your robotic "customer service" number and managed to get the package to be delivered to the nearest FedEx Kinkos. Hopefully that happens sometime in the next week. This is dreadfully inconvenient and again, I cannot stress enough how often this happens and how truly avoidable the whole situation is. Get your people to get their acts together. This poor level of "customer service" in inexcusable and completely offensive.

I am instructing the sender of this package, as well as any companies I work with in the future, to stop using FedEx. It is obviously a waste of everyone's time and money to use your company. Your drivers, and only your drivers, cannot seem to figure out how to deliver a package. OR to let anyone know they have a package waiting.

Tracking History
<snipped>

Are you KIDDING ME!?!?!? The driver DID NOT NOTIFY ME ON MONDAY that an attempt had been made, nor did the driver indicate on the tag I found barely hanging onto the gate Tuesday, that there had been a previous attempt. Had the tag not held on somehow yesterday and I'd seen it I WOULD NEVER HAVE KNOWN I WAS EVEN TO BE EXPECTING A PACKAGE.

Can you tell how irate I am? WOULDN'T YOU BE?!

I want a promise from FedEx, a GUARANTEE, that the next time someone is foolish enough to send something to me via your company, that I will 100% be GUARANTEED to receive it OR receive a note, properly affixed TO MY DOOR, with COMPLETE INFORMATION regarding the status of this delivery, which attempt it was, etc.

It is taking a monumental effort on my part to not curse in this email. My blood pressure right now is through the roof--I am LIVID over the way your company has treated my family. SEVEN YEARS we've lived in our house and how many times did FedEx manage to get a delivery right?

I am still waiting to see if the miracle of a driver actually DOING HIS JOB will ever happen.

In order to send your company a prompt reply, I have been forced to take my short lunch break to email you. Is FedEx ever inconvenienced? Nope! But my family is constantly. And someone, somewhere has paid for the privilege to deal with you people by sending a package to me via FedEx in the first place.

How would you feel if a company treated you this way?

Make it right. I am tired, as is my whole family tired, of dealing with this completely horrific cavalier attitude FedEx is consistently providing. It's the only time you're consistent about ANYTHING.

Make it right.

We did pick up the package today.  While it wasn't something absolutely critical, it also wasn't something we had ordered; it was something someone had shipped to us.  I've had this happen before, a few years ago, and the FedEx driver never left a single notice and returned the package to the sender; I barely caught it before it was shipped back and had to intercept it.  This was nearly another one of those situations.  Though we have the package, I'm not satisfied with FedEx's response to this whole situation in the slightest and plan to follow up with them again.  I'm too goddamn tired of doing their job every damn time something gets shipped to me FedEx to put up with this shit any longer.
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